I know, I know.
It's not about me.
No one wants to hear about the groom. Our job is to stand at the front of the church, watch our radiant bride march down the aisle and not lose the ring. The wedding is the bride's day. All eyes are on her. It's the day she's been planning for her entire life. There's no show called "Groomzilla."
And I'm fine with that.
A bit of background. I'm 31 and last May became engaged to a wonderful woman. We're to be married on March 25, 2011. And as the day draws closer, I'm beginning to see how much involvement there is in planning a wedding and--even more seriously--a marriage. My fiancee and I live 1.5 hours apart from each other and are planning to get a home at a midway point. So on top of wedding plans, we're also searching for apartments. And we're also planning to uproot both of our lives to be together. She has a better start than me, having lived about an hour away from her family for two years. I've always lived 15 minutes from my family.
It's an interesting time.
As I've mused about marriage and wedding plans, it's come to my attention that there are very few TV shows, books and movies that take place from the groom's point of view. We're either the supportive man who waits patiently while the bride goes through hilarious hijinks or we're the jerk she runs from to marry Adam Sandler. But as I've begun to prepare for our impending nuptials, I'm learning there's a whole new world here. There are fun things, like picking out a deejay. Things that make you take stock of your past, like choosing your groomsmen or creating your guest list. Things that force you to anticipate the future, where you'll be asked to lead a family and take on responsibility. And, of course, the challenge of being supportive and calm while the whole enterprise moves along and threatens to collapse under the weight of fiances, big dreams and other people's expectations.
So, this blog.
This isn't going to be a "countdown" blog or a list of funny essays about wedding preparations--although I hope those are a part of this. This is a page for me to muse on all things wedding and marriage--from the funny happenings that occur while wedding planning to my serious questions, fears and anticipations about being a husband. I hope it's funny. I hope it's deep. Most of all, I hope that it allows me to turn into the man that my fiancee--who will be known henceforth as "K."--deserves. And I hope it's a support network for other men preparing for marriage, because Lord knows we're not really told what to expect as grooms.
Except that it's not about us.
And again, I'm fine with that. Really, truly. I want K. to have a wedding she can remember and cherish. One that our families and friends enjoy. One that shows how seriously we take this commitment to each other and to God.
After all: if we can't do it cheap, we're going to do it meaningful. :-)
Here's my plan for this blog: I want to commit, dear readers, to at least two blog posts a week, hopefully more. I encourage feedback, comments and questions. The more I get, the more we can dialogue and the more fun this experiment will be.
I'm a big believer that couples often focus too much on the wedding and not enough on the marriage. I'm 31 and my relationship with K. is the first serious relationship of my life, and I'm well aware that there are going to be adjustments in store. I'll deal with those fears and those thoughts as well. Because I know that adjusting to life as a husband is going to affect every part of my life, I want to commit to keep this blog running through our first year of marriage. I'm setting out with the plan to keep this blog going until March 25, 2012, ending with our first anniversary. My initial plan is to post every day during that first year of marriage, but as it gets closer we'll see what happens.
I'm looking forward to this. It will be nice to have a space just to share my marriage-related thoughts, plans and fears. Should you like what you read here, please visit one of my other blogs. My personal venting/musing space (with spelling and grammar errors intact) is at www.xanga.com/thedubbs. I also keep a film related blog at http://motownmovies.blogspot.com/ .
Thank you all for visiting and I hope to have my first official post soon!
--CW
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